RESISTANCE – CHAPTER III - SWORD OF LORRAINE – RAFAEL LUDICANTI
1.
I discovered that I am nobody.
Now I have to
learn to be nobody.
Learning to be
nobody is
like learning
not to be nobody.
Something like
fasting on Christmas Eve.
1b.
Unfortunately,
the sweetness of
my character makes
me trust people easily.
Unfortunately for them,
because
one day I will
know
if I was right
or wrong.
They will tell
what will define
themselves,
precisely when
I'll will know,
but without
knowing it.
"How Not to Trust People."
It would be the bestseller of the year.
2.
Fascinating is the fear
of dying in those
who believe
in Paradise.
In the afterlife.
Beliving in god is so
ridiculous that
God himself
would personally
take care of
putting an
end to it.
3
Really,
God having to rest
on the seventh day
is a very poor idea.
It's like setting up
the chessboard
and sleeping
on the couch
without taking
off your
shoes.
4.
My conscience is
clouded and weak.
Spontaneity inhabits
arrogance,
hiding places
for alien beings.
Afflictions sigh
with relief
beyond respect.
Horror is relaxing
and reminiscent
of never.
Returning my vision
to the world with
my eyes coerced
into renunciation.
Overwhelmed with uncertainty,
I make the decision to act.
5.
Anticipating hate prevents
the best from
happening,
until the storm
has a
renunciation
attitude.
The persistence of quitting
is not a chance-based
event.
Playing the victim
will not make you
achieve glory.
6.
For so long
I wandered,
lost among
so many dreams,
like a child asleep
on the living room rug,
hugging his toys.
Now I'm here,
as a child without toys
or hugs,
writing a poem
that will
never be
read.
7.
I hear the birds singing
but the window
is as closed
as my heart
has ever been.
Locked away
in the fortress
of a mind
terrified by
perseverance.
8.
The sudden monotony
erupted in
a tsunami.
The enlightened beings
turned off the
lights in
the hall of
mirrors to better
hear the creaking
of the pillars
on which
the planet
rests.
As it is well known,
inspiration
in these moments
gives way to
a form of sadism
that was once capable
of taking us
to the moon.
9.
The homeless man
seemed satisfied
with his blanket
of dust and felt.
That explained his
starvation: joy.
He knew that keeping
silent was his
eternal
guarantee
of well-being.
So he dreamed
of humiliation
as a utopia
and contemplated
the dawn of another
beautiful day in the
solar firmament.
10.
I know I was born
at the wrong time
because
I could
inevitably conclude
that,
no matter
when I would have been born.
I listen to the Beatles
and see the photos
of the Quartier Latin
as if the world
were then in
black and white,
and I were Enjolras
commanding a barricade
with the shedding of a tear.
His face
left behind with
his unsteady legs
after being shot
at the fall of dawn
reminds me,
perhaps because of
his laconic look,
the sweet sound
of a Sarabanda
on the lute.
11.
Asphalt with cigarette
butts has long
pleased me.
Opportunities
are just objective
ways of anticipating
the past.
Things are already
lost when
they are
found.
12.
I don't know how
to place anything
chronologically
in time.
The buses are so predictable...
All justifications are
plausible for
refusing alms
to the poor
or rules to the
financial market,
as they are in
an ideal position
to serve as
an example.
13.
The present oscillates
between oblivion
and uncertainty.
The clarity of the present
is impossible to describe,
while coincidences
objectively
reiterate something
incapable of explanation.
For those who find
pleasure uncomfortable,
it is always possible to deplete
the libido with artistic inspiration.
14.
My room is intoxicating
with my soft and
delicious scent.
Ah, what a pleasant
afternoon
these sirens destroy.
When I think of
scaffolding and
Ferris wheels...
everything is so romantic.
Is it true that workers die
while building bridges
and football stadiums?
15.
Romanticism is
too cool to be lived.
And that's how
I started to live
with avidity,
almost as if there
was a certainty
that we are
not immortal.
Everything is subjective
in objective reality,
from the point
of view of someone
who gives up
on himself
to become one
more among
so many
selfish
people.
16.
I see dreams slowly
drifting away,
like those
gas balloons
that careless children
let out of their
grasp and
their hand
no longer reaches.
But whose suffering
is not such that
in a short time
they will not
forget.
17.
A dream is its own
inherent quality.
The curve of its
own limit,
the finite value
that with its grace
generates
infinite
illusions.
A dream is self-contained
and self-sufficient.
As if it could exist
even if nobody
dreamed of it.
18.
May the laziness
in process
of my
discontinuous
being
don’t confuse me
with the rest that
laziness itself
takes away.
Without intending to control
the idea of action,
it is possible to
generate feelings
that are transformed
into a frame of mind.
19.
Those who endeavor
to make good use
of their time
make bad
use of their time.
There's nothing
to do with
time but
waste it.
Because all the time
is little and urges
to pass,
less in being
than having been.
So, more time is
wasted by those
who make
money out of it.
20.
My irresponsible
and uncritical
reasoning
leads me
to yet another
contradiction.
It's enough for me
to think, judging by
how things are going.
The real thing is that
even though
I said I know
I don't even know
what I meant
but still
thoughts are opportunities.
When would it ever
occur to me again
to say something
so absurd?
20b.
Words, yes, words.
Words what?
When something is
just a word,
it says nothing.
They are, at best,
stick games
or civilized
shouting.
How could words
suffice themselves,
if words are lacking
for all sensations?
I often get tired
of having to
say something.
Even in silence,
I am a primal roar.
20c.
I know I'm here
because I feel bad.
It should be: I feel, therefore I am.
Does medicine take
the cogito ergo sum
into account
when making
diagnoses of depression?
Or will I become
a case
by design
if I post
this question?
20d.
This lukewarm anguish
makes everything
so much more
difficult.
Turns the initial
breath of each
thing into weariness.
In the pure state,
no rest.
Was I born to serve
as an example
of the absurdity
of race?
It would have been
better not to
have become
unforgettable.
21.
Far from the empty
glass of air
where water
would be
true there is a planet.
The halo of the cosmos,
the scorching
clitoris of Venus.
The most beautiful
and catastrophic
planet,
the definitive
symbol of reality's
affection for the
imaginary
universe,
making us believe that
imagination itself
surpasses
thought.
22.
A friend once questioned
whether, in crying
that night,
I had been
authentic.
I smiled,
hurt,
and said yes,
my tears were all
that was really left in me
after a life that
had taken from me
even what was authentic
in my friendships.
23.
I plagiarized myself
again
by copying
a poem from
page to page.
Then I was late
for an appointment
with a hysterical girl
who couldn't care
less about
being late:
"It happens sometimes
with my period too,"
she commented with
matriarchal superiority,
which made me love her.
At the end of the day
we had a brutal
relationship discussion.
24.
I've been writing
poems for
days,
but
I hate poets.
It would have
been so poetic
to study engineering.
Why did I
become a writer?
I'm too lazy to
even be
recognized
for merits.
25.
This is an anti-poem.
The goal of the
anti-poem is the
same as that
of a bomb
squad: to fail.
Spread trifles and spasms
of insights
through urban dungeons
touching the aegis of excellence
with the coldness
of a son of a bitch
who lies just like
a woman who cheats.
26.
I felt passionately
bored with that
first day of dating,
so I took refuge
in the solitude
of the snows of
Kilimanjaro.
Sunflower seeds
have not adapted well
to the glacial light
of the African steppes.
That was what the noble
and indomitable scouts
of the junior
right wing
taught.
27.
The theory of relativity
has the charm
of being
incomprehensible
even to physicists,
so that it is
very easy
to love it.
It is enough to know
how to carry out
your own work
competently
and follow
the formulas.
If you're brilliant,
you create them.
28.
Girls,
as lovely as
they are,
are rude
and cold.
Okay, brinks.
But seriously,
coldness is despair
in its overheated form
from human contact.
It is a mistake
to confuse kindness
with weakness.
Coldness is irreversible
and tenderness
breeds avengers.
29.
I traded my collection
of algebraic stamps
for a badly repaired carousel.
It is necessary to
buy the horses
but the engine
seems to be
well preserved.
The grease appears
to be unconditional,
which gives the work
a crystalline appearance.
Without tar, monotheism
would not have
this diversity
of unique gods.
30.
Girls' empowerment
gave me the idea
of fighting for
the empowerment
of smart people,
but I couldn't
evolve in my reasoning.
The bloody paths
cauterize good intentions
with hormones
and parangolés,
as if taking medicine
were to be civilized.
Ask yourself if paradise
is full of bad intentions.
31.
If I was paranoid the
joy of being wrong
would be the
side effect
of the tranquilizers.
Are not sniffer dogs all dogs?
Of course,
we have to take
into account the
chemical dependency,
responsible for the
high prices in
rehabilitation
clinics and the corruption
of the medical class,
who, when reading this,
will ask themselves
if they can also
retaliate against
the poems.
32.
It is better that
the ideal does not
even inspire reality.
Making a mistake can be inhumane.
It is never said: success is human.
Thus, making mistakes
reminds us of
who we really are:
a species beyond doubt.
33.
Sex.
I die happier with my dog.
Nothing is more
freeing than making
a woman cum.
I think that's where
our desire to kill
each other
comes from.
34.
Human misery is only
not greater than
how easy
it would be to end it.
Girls are so cold
that they use hair
dryers to delude
themselves about
the imminent
demise of
male chauvinism.
35.
Lack of character is
a continuous and
consistent act.
The honor is that is
counter-evolutionary.
It's good to have
faith in the unbelievable.
Ultimately, reality is fragile.
36.
She was so affetionate
she made love obsolete
among piles of blankets
to keep her little
feet warm.
She smiled less
when she was sad
or when an earthquake
happened.
I've seen her refuse a
caviar canapé
using only
her little
finger.
37.
There was a time when
women were more
powerful than
men.
But there was
always a passion
more powerful
than her
thirst for power.
When the last queen
fell in love,
the tradition of
harmony was
slowly lost.
It was when a man
sat on the couch of power
and inaugurated
the gallows.
38.
The underage prostitutes'
sex strike lasted
just eight minutes,
which caused
the stock market
to plummet.
We all travel through
the symbolism
of fire and
intemperance
with our multiple
personalities rarefied
by the self-affirmation
imposed on us
by the mystery
of healing.
39.
I was so sleepy
that I understood
that she was
lying.
Carnival hadn't
even started and I
unpacked the nativity
scene but it fell to
the ground in
September.
I dozed on a
water lily pad
but was awakened
by the sudden certainty
that I had never been
truly loved
before.
40.
All our chocolate
had melted in the
Gobi desert.
It was very difficult
to get over childhood
while I was still a child.
Libido only existed in fairy tales
But she was already
writing declarations
of love on
Calvin Klein-scented
stationery
and hand
delivering
the letters.
41.
I felt a little better
after sharing my
chewing gum
with a homeless man.
But it wasn't time for vanity
and I decided to
take a bus
because it started
to rain and I had
tied my sweater
around my waist.
Ingratitude is innate
in the household of
living beings.
42.
She started to study
Italian to hurt me,
not realizing that
her silence
was worse
than being
alive.
I considered sailing
around the
Greek islands
but decided against it
because of the air traffic.
I hid myself under
the patina of time
where the sound of rain
seemed to whisper the
name of Emperor Caligula's horse.
43.
A deserter had been
crucified on Fifth Avenue
in Manhattan.
Prosperity no longer
prevailed even
among viruses,
which rebelled
in a syndicated
pandemic.
Opinions had long
been classified
as sociopathy.
She said she would
never leave me
as she bid me
farewell to
exile.
44.
I had lost my sacrificial
ring somewhere
in the Nile delta,
and it's hard
to deal with
stress having
a map in your hands.
The fifth dose of absinthe
made her decide
to have an abortion.
My heart was seized
by a tachycardia subtlety
when I learned that
I would not be a dad.
45.
Marines accidentally
shot those digging
their own graves,
leaving their bodies
as food for birds.
The world was chaos,
everything worked
as planned.
My restlessness
was such that
I fell asleep
without taking
off my shoes.
I bought a ruler
where the number
11 was missing.
The totality
represented by 10
would no longer have
an effect on
my mind.
46.
She made me smile
in the middle of
Hallelujah Saturday.
The undefeated day
became the tomb
of beauty.
She refused to say
yes and quell
my sudden
desire
that this
moment
would
never end.
47.
I'm not a stupid male
so I won't carry
that burden.
She was as smooth
as the North Sea winds.
A woman is about
to be born whose
dream is not herself,
but they are also
my only dream.
48.
The beginning
did not fit in
the eternal return.
There was no coincidence
in the memory of
those who had
been there.
The erasures impregnated
the lack of imagination
of that hostile dawn
in the midst of departures,
the immeasurable pride
made us hear
the monstrous
response of the
sunrise to those
who doubted
astrology.
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